knight_moves (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
knight_moves) wrote2023-08-04 07:57 am
knight_moves) wrote2023-08-04 07:57 am
August 4th
Probably be seeing The Meg today. After five years of horror movies about trauma, I'm ready for a horror movie about what if a shark were really, REALLY big.
TMNT... meh. I have love for the eighties cartoon and the live-action movies, but this new one isn't it, bro. I hear the argument that every TMNT incarnation changes things about for the new generation--dude compared it to Star Wars, which let's not even get into--but I feel it's the other way around in this case?
No kid growing up actually wanted to be the kid sidekick. Who wants to be Robin when you can be Batman? Mutant Mayhem looks like a whole movie of adults looking back at childhood and not trying to tell a story about it to children, but to nostalgic adults (sorta like how She-Ra and Owl House and all those other 'brave' cartoons are really for slashers, not kids).
Like, it's trying to do Stranger Things with the Turtles. And I accepted that with Ghostbusters, but with the Turtles? No. Too much squeaking, squealing kids, proving that the Western action cartoon really is dead. (Thanks for trying to resuscitate it, Gennedy, but...)
And obviously, other TMNT cartoons weren't grim and gritty, but they weren't so front-loaded with the childishness. It feels so skewed to the Teenage in the title, to the point that the brothers are indistinguishable from each other, all a bunch of adolescents straight out of Super 8 or any of those other 'nostalgic' movies that aren't about anyone's childhood, but about watching Amblin movies when you were a kid. Just admit it: you didn't ride your bike that much and you know it.
Nothing but a bunch of fucking jokes because Seth Rogen is too high to commit to the Bit. Can someone please Justin Roiland this guy already?
And a weird emphasis on Splinter's sex life, because why should an old widower/gruesomely mutated man/Buddhist monk be celibate? When we can make a joke about Splinter fucking? Why should this character have dignity and gravitas when we can ruin everyone's sense of immersion in the story for sex jokes?
TMNT... meh. I have love for the eighties cartoon and the live-action movies, but this new one isn't it, bro. I hear the argument that every TMNT incarnation changes things about for the new generation--dude compared it to Star Wars, which let's not even get into--but I feel it's the other way around in this case?
No kid growing up actually wanted to be the kid sidekick. Who wants to be Robin when you can be Batman? Mutant Mayhem looks like a whole movie of adults looking back at childhood and not trying to tell a story about it to children, but to nostalgic adults (sorta like how She-Ra and Owl House and all those other 'brave' cartoons are really for slashers, not kids).
Like, it's trying to do Stranger Things with the Turtles. And I accepted that with Ghostbusters, but with the Turtles? No. Too much squeaking, squealing kids, proving that the Western action cartoon really is dead. (Thanks for trying to resuscitate it, Gennedy, but...)
And obviously, other TMNT cartoons weren't grim and gritty, but they weren't so front-loaded with the childishness. It feels so skewed to the Teenage in the title, to the point that the brothers are indistinguishable from each other, all a bunch of adolescents straight out of Super 8 or any of those other 'nostalgic' movies that aren't about anyone's childhood, but about watching Amblin movies when you were a kid. Just admit it: you didn't ride your bike that much and you know it.
Nothing but a bunch of fucking jokes because Seth Rogen is too high to commit to the Bit. Can someone please Justin Roiland this guy already?
And a weird emphasis on Splinter's sex life, because why should an old widower/gruesomely mutated man/Buddhist monk be celibate? When we can make a joke about Splinter fucking? Why should this character have dignity and gravitas when we can ruin everyone's sense of immersion in the story for sex jokes?